Did I leave my mind at your place?

All afternoon yesterday I was feeling the urge to sew. Even though I have a long "to do" list I couldn't come up with anything I actually wanted to do. That changed.. Sometime after 9pm last night!!! After trying in vain to find a pattern I didn't have to trace, was the right size, was cut in the right size.. I finally found 2. So I had thought! One of them had been cut in a size 2, so I was under duress to use the other. I do like it a lot! Around 10pm I am pinning out this pattern for my daughter to have a new dress for "free dress" day at school today. Yes, TODAY!

Well, I was up til 1:30am, I mean, of course i had to unpick a few things. Infact, that is a gross exaggeration. I unpicked just one straight line. So proud of myself! Even on the most basic of items I usually spend half as  much time sewing unpicking!! My zip went in brilliantly first time around too. Jessi gets up this morning, asks if I'd found her something to wear and I show her the unhemmed dress. She liked it! "It's good you used bright colours" she grinned. Yes darling, I know how you adore all this garishly bright and make your mummy cringe. The only problem? It was miles too big!!!! Simplicity 8620 in a size 7 dated 1970, and it's a good 2 inches too big, basically 2 sizes! We went and found another dress to wear to school. The orange gingham tie is a real leap for me.. I'm such a matchy-matchy type and this doesn't match! But it does compliment. I think?

I have to catch up on posts. Been too busy admiring everyone else's blogs! But headed out to dinner tonight for one of my dear friends birthdays, and then it's my bday on Monday. Of course, it's also Easter this weekend and Jessica is looking forward to learning to sew. I can't wait to teach her! She all too often hers from me "not today honey" or " in a minute" repeated to her endlessly. Not this time! She wants to sew, let's sew! We're going to started with a bunny Melissa  posted and may move on to the horse she wants to make from an Australian Country Threads magazine (vol9 no10). See how quickly she tires of the rabbit first!!

pastels appeal

Too tired to write a post, but isn't that pretty? Will clue you in soon.

Poppets Perspective

As mentioned, Jessica got a digital camera for her 7th birthday from my sister and I. Here are a few snippets of her photos! You can really see her concerntrating and some of the scenic pics I really really like. She has nothing but potential, in an art form that has no bounds and is free (besides batteries).People (row by row); Her cousin Hayden, Myself - Hayden, Hayden and Nannie (my mum) - My sister (i like this pic!), Hayden with new shoes - My mum's best friend, Jessica's dermatologist (who had no idea Jessi was weilding a camera and when it flashed she laughed "Jessica! Oh my goodness that's going to be horrible. Delete that one". She is a lovely, lovely lady).

People again (clockwise from top left); Self portraits... this is one of a few she took... I was floored! I think my sister showed her how to do this though, so that explained it a lil. still wow! - me again - myself, mum and mum's friend at my sisters old house - my nephew Hayden and I waiting outside a hotel in Perth while mum was inside making enquiries - mum - mum's friend

Inanimate objects -- you think she's seen me take photos of my crafts a few times too often? :P The doll clothes were all new, so I suppose the wanted to document them. The top left photo the clothes were purchased from Pumpkin Patch but the others were all from thrift stores. She LOVED mum's different hair clips and took a photo of the similar one I was wearing too but it looked really weird. And I have to laugh at the photos of books. We went into a book store, just killing time. She is walking around taking pics. I was actually embarassed by it! Anyways, she took a few different photos of Mr Men books. When I asked her why she says "So I know what ones I don't have". Ok, that's a fair comment. The novels.. well I can only assume the images appealed to her in some way :)

Scenery (row by row); The tree was across the road from my sisters last rental, extremely tall and this day was full of parrots. Jessi was photographing the parrots. Flowers in Raine Square, Perth City - graffiti and scaffolding from bus window in Perth city where they're erecting a new entertainment centre, sunset clouds outside my sisters - another really nice silhouetted sunset, a Perth city tourist bus taken while we waited at a cross walk - she just managed to cut the bird out of this pic (top right of the photo) which is actually really good considering how high the tree is and how much zoom she must have been using, a lovely photo of a tree outside Princess Margaret Hospital for children that I had no idea she had taken.

My lil love

I have the most gorgeous daughter. When she isn't being 'when she was bad she was horrid' she is of course 'very very good' minus curls on her forehead. She has moments of pure love which are so delightful to see. She asks for a hug many times a day, but sometimes there is this gleam in her eye when she does, and you just know that in that moment, all she can think of is that hug and being close to you. Kids are so precious.



Last night she came in and said "look what I made you" and presented me with this lovely little picture. They're hearts, as people. She typically draws her people with clothes and adornments, so she really thought this one out. I melted, it was such a beautiful moment and an absolute surprise to me. I LOVE that we're holding hands! I have an amazing, wonderful daughter and I love her very much!





(and the lovely dry erase board was sent to us from our friend Jessie in North Carolina, and Jessica's barely put it down since it arrived! She has oodles or art supplies, and this simple little drawing board is her fave. We've played many a game of noughts and crosses on this little thing over the past week).

Capes and cakes

One incomplete scrapbook page. The bottom left corner needs something, I just can't work out what! But as it's been sitting idly on my desk for a week or so now and still no bright ideas, here it is. Kaisercraft Argentella papers & pearls, stash lace and trim, shabby "melted" flower with an old odd button in its centre, franchville brads and a little white flower out of a card making kit, and some black ink (office style! lol no fancy scrapbook/paper craft inks in this household). Inspired by this layout, found on pencillines.com

I actually used that teal trim on a skirt I made Jessi. I got her to choose from 2 different blue/teal fabrics knowing I wanted to use that trim. She looks at the finish skirt, namely the trim, and says "don't you have that in a different colour?". Erm.. no! *lol* Kids!!

This is the lil cape I want to make Jessi, and the fabrics I have chosen for it. Jess loves BRIGHT! The brighter the better. She makes me cringe.. but if I want her to wear it then I can at least start with something she might enjoy. Mum says "but it wont match anything she wears". So what? She's 7.. like anything she wears matches anyhow. Unless she's in her school uniform ;) The pink paisley fabric selvage reades "Watercolor Memories by Fabri-Quilt Inc Design #9635" and I do like it a lot.. just wonder if it's tooooo much on a big project like the cape. I don't recall where or when I got the fluffy cream stuff. Probably in a remnant bin somewhere. It's so deliciously snuggly I'd rather make a pillow case out of it so I can snuggle it!! The pattern, Simplicity 5480 is dated 1973. I think the term "vintage" is well and truly over used online, so I will not call this a vintage pattern!

Here are the baby shoes mentioned in my last post. I really enjoy sewing baby booties, usually from free patterns! They're all so similar to those being sold it doesn't make sense to me to buy patterns. But I splurged a lil this last week and bought a couple, including some of the "big 3" (Simplicity, Butterick etc). The brown suede is something I picked up in a thrift store and lined with a fabric my mum gave me from an old craft group we had locally (selvage reads "Marcus Bros Textiles Inc"). I love the little creamy flowery fabric, I think it would make adorable Amy Butler Kimono style pyjamas!! I don't have her book though. Anyways, simply lined with cream flannelette.

Suede shoes pattern - Prudent Baby
though I deviated from the pattern and made them from fabric, lined and as they currently have no snaps/buttons they're also reversible (hidden seams)

Floral Kimono style booties - Homespun Threads
I didnt like these once finished. The LOOK good but were awkward to get on baby's feet. I didn't take the time to make them reversible/hide the seams

I got a package in the mail today from my dear friend LeAnna. I actually thought it was my Amazon.com order at first!! There is a Vogue Sewing book (brilliant reference material!), a Sew Beautiful magazine, Craft Style magazine, Craft Stylish Quick Stuff to make and Where Women Create. I've already read 3 of them! So many gorgeous projects.. so many more things on the "to make list".. will I ever live long enough? *lol* and LeAnna also included a yarn doily in a lovely white yarn with hints of palest pink. I must say, it has a gorgeous scent about it. Perhaps she used a fabric softener or something. As everything in my household is washed in super sensitive powders etc I probably forget the subtle scents of laundry soap.

I've done a little baking this week. I made banana muffins and a chocolate cake last weekend, and another chocolate cake tonight. The one from tonight will most likely be binned! It was a Betty Crocker "Devli's Food" cake and it's really really BLERGH! It had 3 eggs, 3/4cup water and 1/4cup vege oil.. and it bloodywell tastes like oil! It's so gross. I didn't realise it came with a packet of plastic icing (frosting). I say plastic, cos not only did it spread like plastic, look like plastic, it tastes pretty darn plasticy too! And "super moist".. erm.. NO! I will never buy Better Crocker again. Ok, so I should have made a chocolate cake from scratch. It's not like I didn't have the ingredients in the pantry... So anyways, once this one is tossed in the garbage bin I will make another Greens Chocolate Cake. Now there was a lovely, moist cake with a nice sweet yet firm icing. mmmmm!!!!!! In all reality I should NOT make cake, or sweets, or any other yummmmmy thing cos well.. with only Jessi and I in the house to eat it... ummah! But I have a real craving for cake at the moment and have barely touched chocolate or icecream or biscuits in ages.. so a lil indulgence is ok. I will just have to remember not to make anything again for a few months, minimum!

Using Jessica's camera this evening to take photos (where mine is, I have no idea..) I found a heap of pics she's taken since getting the cam for her bday in Feb. She has some outstanding pics!! If I get patient and spend some time in PS Elements and collage them, I will share with you. Blogger is horrible at photo uploads!

What is beautiful?

You know how we see things in our lives that really speak to us? I had one of those moments when I first caught site of this YouTube post on a friends Facebook page. I've reposted it a number of times, such an important message! But soooo much louder as the visual aspect really adds to what words alone only hint at. Share this with your daughters. Even your sons! Explain how false a world we live in. Don't "I blame Disney for my high expectations of men" (for those wondering, that is an actual Facebook group I have seen many of my friends join!) and don't let your sons think that a real girl has no blemishes and porcelain skin!

You know what, don't just watch it, share it!

So much of what we see is edited, we just don't realise quite how much!

Here is yet another REALLY good, strong message.

Beauty is fickle, cruel and artificial. Just as we find treasure in others trash, we also perceive beauty on an individual basis. I can assure you every woman in the world does not agree that Brad Pitt is the sexiest man on Earth, just because Cosmo says so. We can't stop the media, but we can educate ourselves and those around us.

A chance to escape

I love books. I used to read far more, I just find when I am feeling glum I can't focus on anything, least of all words on a page. I finally picked back up a book I was reading, Vintage Alice by Jessica Adams (seen here) and Celebrity Bride by Alison Kervin (here), both of which were given to me by a fried who is in a mail order book club. She was away and four books accumulated which her mum failed to mention during their many phone calls. She arrived home having to pay for the novels, in which she had absolutely no interest. She very kindly offered them to me knowing I am a "reader".

Vintage Alice - Jessica Adams

I really quite enjoyed this novel. Through no fault of the story I put the book down for some weeks and really struggled to pick it back up. A love story, although not all roses with no thorns, and set in England.. it just wasn't what I needed at the time. I finally managed to get reading again and I quite enjoyed it. I was a little bit disappointed that the story of "Vintage Alice" wasn't what I had expected. It's more a journey. But the main character LOVES to sew and refashion and is planning a move to Aus. So there was plenty in there which I really did enjoy. The descriptions of Australia were just beautiful and at points I did wonder if any non-Aussies might understand some of the jargon. I guess this is the fun of novels, to lose yourself into another world..

Celebrity Bride - Alison Kervin
Admittedly, I would never have purchsed this book for myself. Infact, I rarely buy books at all. I picked this up the other afternoon after returning home from work, school runs etc. Hmm.. I had it read by midnight that night *blushes*. I barely put it down! That was a combination of enjoying the book and not feeling very well AND needing to not think about my own life for a while. I actually really enjoyed this book, even with its fairytale themes. And trust me, fairytale themes are the LAST thing I want at the moment! Just an ordinary girl getting caught up in the mayhem that is celebrity, it was really quite cute. In some cases I could forsee what was coming a bit too obviously which had me impatient for it to actually happen, but all round a very nicely written story.


I can't do photos at the moment. Kinda, sorta kind find my camera *blushes* I've sewn a few lil things and been working on a scrapbook page all week (yes, the very same ONE page!) but otherwise I have been more idle than I would like. I've pulled out a cape pattern and really want to make it for Jessi, but I am unsure if she'd wear it. I have this lovely soft soft minkee type fabric I'd line it with, it would be like wearing a big, snuggly blanket. I just get so disheartened when she says she doesn't like it/wont wear it. I keep hyping up the "you'll be the only little girl with a dress like this" and she's fine with dresses/skirts. I guess it's when I go to add in the slightly different pieces, such as capes *hehe* I want to make her some winter PJ's but looking online at flannelette for $24 a metre.. wtf?!!? I really wish I could get to Spotlight :( I am also wondering about winter clothes for Jessi. With her eczema she hates anything fleecy as it sticks to her skin (after she's scratched and it's bled/weeped) so.. hmm.. she needs some yoga style patns I s'pose, but they can't be all that warm! I don't even want to think about the impending winter just yet.


OOOOOOH back on the topic of books, I bought myself 3 from amazon.com the other day. Two of them about decluttering, then, rather ironically... a sewing book. Just to add to that clutter! I'll share details when they arrive. Haha. Anyways, enough babble out of me ;)

*edited to add in photos I took of the books on Jess's camera.. cos now I can't even find mine! *lmao*

Meeting Matilda

Matilda is the newest edition to a very large collection of dolls within our home. I purchased her from http://www.australiangirldoll.com/ for Jessica's 7th bday and she was an immediate hit. At the time of purchase she was a limited edition, but it seems she is now standard stock. I borrowed the above pics from Australian Girl as my photo skills are non-existant and do their gorgeous doll no justice! (copied from their website but compiled into one photo by myself, and I added their web address to the photo so you know exactly who there are and were to find them). The clothes shown are the ones I purchased for Matilda. I like the other dolls, but their seriously dorky outfits/prints on the clothes put me off. Jasmine (in the satin party dress) was my doll of choice before Matilda was released. Not so keen on the ugg boots and dress though.. Overall, I am very pleased with our new "big girl" doll, to break away from the baby dolls just a little. Something different :) It's not that the baby dolls have to be retired, but choices and options. I say this in the nicest way though, I wanted a dark skinned doll. Introduction at an early age is important to me and although we have friends and associate with people of all races and backgrounds, I still think it being inside your home has a positive impact on a child. So another day I will find her an international/non-steryotypical doll. Now I just sound like an idiot. So on to the doll!

I had actually wanted and American Girl doll for Jessica, but the only place in Aus I could find online selling them wanted nearly twice their retail and the actual website doesn't ship to Aus. The thing I love best about the Australin girl is the vinyl chest, as opposed to soft stuffy one of the American Girl. So this girl looks cute in her singlets and no soft body showing up! (she is wearing her white knickers in this photo. Some modesty please! lol). Her hair is kind of awesome too, in this photo it is being held with nothing more than a single, glass headed sewing pin!

I made Matilda a dress. Jessi actually loves the name of this doll btw, she has the name she was purchased with. Jess loves the film Matilda right now so it worked out rather perfectly. The dress is a tiny bit too small, sewn from Simplicity 3936 for the slightly smaller (well, I can only assume from how these fit) American Girl Dolls. She is wearing the white purchased singlet under the dress and bolero. The bolero is just a tiny bit too tight in the arms, the dress well; the straps are too long and the arm scythes and therefore bodice are too low. All are stash fabrics and lace. I really like this outfit. I still have to sew the snaps on the back.

I hand sewed these little pyjamas for Matilda using Simplicity 4347. A reproduction vintage pattern that I bought at http://www.sewingpatterns.com/ and printed at home. I love sewingpatterns.com! So much cheaper than buying a store bought pattern in Australia and the convenience for me living isolated ;) I had this overwhelming feeling that if I didn't handsew something, I was a bad crafty mama. I know I know, this makes no sense. But I did it anyway and actually found it quite enjoyable.

I made these lil overalls on New Years eve, all hand sewn while babysitting. I actually made them for one of Jessi's baby dolls prior to buying Matilda and had to cut 2 inches off the legs for them to be long overalls on the baby doll. But they fit Matilda comfortably as shorty overalls.

The embroidery was not rocket science, I simply embroidered one of the flowers in the fabric design and added a bead to the centre.

Also on New Years eve and from the same Burda 8380 pattern I made this adorable little back pack. Hand sewn like the overalls above. I highlighted some of the damask print on the flap with pink embroidery floss and weirdly enough, the purple button looked better than all the pink, green and neutral ones I tried!

Overall I am feeling a little bit better, I will go back and edit the details into the "Bubbles" post later.

Lost in the cavern that is my mind

I have copious amounts of writing paper piled up beside me, unsent letters. A way to try and sort my thoughts, sift through the crap and find the really important stuff. Basically, a bunch of imperfect sentences mishmashed on a page.

I am not coping.

Surreal, real, fake, lies, truth. Who knows anymore. I can't tell the difference. I am all cried out and yet the tears keep flowing.

It's like it never was, yet it was. And it was oh so real. I think. Do I know anymore? All I know now is the pain. And the tears. The tears just wont go away.

I'm not ready to talk, I'm not ready to work or eat or breath. But I have to survive. Find a way to see the positives. What positives?

Damn it all.

Do I want it back, or do I just *think* I miss it?

Longing. Aching. Heartbreak.

"i will be willing to listen when you're ready to talk"

but I'm still not ready to talk. I still don't know where I'm at or what I want or why it hurts so much. Running on autopilot, blind to all around me.

A gentle push, a kind word, keeps me afloat for a while but my head is dangerously bobbing at the waterline and when alone, begins to sink. Like now..

I feel like it was my fault. Like I ruin everything. Like I am not special enough to fight for or .. I don't know. I am too needy, too honest, too affectionate.. I don't know. Me. My fault. Fake. Gone.

Was it ever real?????????????



And I feel sick everytime I hear the tone to say I have email :(

Bubbles

Kaisercraft Devonshire papers, a pale pale pale green cardstock, Kaisercraft rhinestones, a white heart brad with Kaisercraft Devonshire rubon rose and a Making Memories "love" rub on, the red rub ons are also Making Memories. I don't actually feel like this page is complete.

The orange floral paper shape was cut after using baking paper to trace the shape off a Basic Grey Lily Kate paper, and the swirls were sketched and cut by hand. There is a little bit of chalk on the edges of the orange paper, but it hasn't done much for it. I should have sanded it or something.

May be gone again

Well, my blog may sit untouched again for a little. As may everything else. My "sweetie" called things off last night. Not coping very well, not accepting the situation at all. I had some photos of things I'd done but now I don't have the heart to write about them. So I apologise if you don't see me for a while. Right now I am going to curl back up in bed and cry some more.