Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Need to blog

Ok so my blog has been on a semi-hiatus. Again. I know, it happens so frequently. Life is a little bit more than I can manage right now. I really don't know how others do it. I am trying not to be online so much and to do EXTREMELY overdue work around the house, garden etc.

Work has been extremely stressful. It's amazing how the relationship with just one co-worker failing can create so much chaos. Today I am in two minds; lodge the discrimination grieveance report or let it go? I think I really need to lodge it, it is discrimination after all not just a personality clash. Just happens to be the woman I'm having the personality clashes with though. Just to make it harder! My mum says quit, my coworker says let it go, my friend didn't know what to suggest. I feel so stuck, so very frustrated and it's really getting to me.

I have a little blog package I am hoping is in the mail today. I won a draw a few weeks back on another blog and it was posted last week. I will tell you all about it when it arrives!!! I can't wait to see what handmade goodies are inside.

Jessica and I went back to Perth at the end of May for her specialists. Nothing really new to tell you there. We return in another 3mths to do it all again. I took a few extra days this time and enjoyed a semi-break. It was nice, but hectic being in Perth with so many things to do and people to see. Actually, biggish news is we both got our hair cut. I had mine cut quite short. I am a fan of my long hair but was bored and decided it only grows back so there is no real harm. I had a fringe (bangs) cut in for Jessica. She's 7.5yrs old and never had a fringe and it was amazing to see how different she looks! I have exceeded my bandwidth so will have to put up photos another day :)

While in Perth I bought a few bits of fabric from Spotlight, nothing major. I got some curtain rings and drawstring to make Roman Blinds (one day, it's on that ever growing list of things I must do) but I did get quite a lot of fabric at thrift stores. I also got 2 small jars of buttons and wow were there some little treasures. I will photograph a couple of the more interesting ones to share with you.

I would really like to start working with wood! The Knock-Off Wood site is so inspiring and I have always loved woodwork. My friend and I were the only 2 who took woodwork as an elective in highschool (we did metal work too but I wasn't so fond of it). I have an outdoor table base a friend was throwing away and hope to give it a new lease on life. Trouble is, hardware store here is small and has a few basics but as I need a large amount of lumber I will have to travel 200km one way (2hrs drive) to buy it, then drag it all home on the trailer. Not so much fun :) But I am looking forward to a trip out of town, I want a latte!!!

At this very moment I am really glad I shared my blog only with those in my "real world" whom I love and trust. I've been increasingly frustrated with Facebook and the like as it's not really 'friends' and you can't really say what's on your mind. Last night when I was deciding "do I quit, or do I harden the fk up and work this out?" my facebook status read "hopes it continues to rain". That was NOT gratifying. I see many (MANY!) people constantly whining about work and colleagues on their facebook and it doesn't end in a good place. I try to keep things off those kinds of topics and if all else fails, I go find a quote which speaks to me in that moment and use it as a status. A recent example, I was missing a friend and I had heard in part the quote "Distance is to love as wind is to fire: It extinguishes the small and kindles the great." --unknown  Not only did I think the quote was beautiful, it really meant something to me in that moment so it became my status. That way I felt I had said what I wanted to say (in a round about way) but other people weren't prying into my life in a way I didn't want them to. I often use innuendo, am quite vague or cryptic. It bugs people but too bad for them really. Anyways, that was way off track!!!!!!! What I was meaning to say is I am glad my blog can still be that place I don't feel like I need to censor my words.

I have 20mins before I have to head to work and I am feeling all queazy in the tummy. I am really not appreciating all this uneccessary stress and tension. I don't want to have a bad relationship with ANYone let alone my coworkers, supervisors etc etc. I don't deal with this stuff well and my indecisiveness does not help. I am worried I might be seen as the "office complainer". The very first time I had a complaint I came "THIS CLOSE" to quitting! I didn't want to make that complaint then. I even called the 2nd in charge and asked how much notice they would require if I were to resign. I decided to step up, grow up, and go make the complaint. I can't say I regret that decision as I really do love my job, but it didn't serve to make things any better. If I do quit, I would be penalized by Centrelink a) for quitting and b) because Jessica is over 7 and I am deemed to be able to work no less than 15hrs a week due to her being in full time school. In a small, isolated town finding a new job that works around Jessica will be close to impossible. My current employers are extremely forgiving and allow me to have Jess at work with me on days she is ill or during school holidays and they also afford me that time off I need to take her to Perth. Granted, that time off is all my RDO's (Rostered Days Off) and annual leave time, but it often comes at short notice. If this one lady would just step up and act like a half decent human being things would be a whole lot easier. I don't honestly know what her issue with and yesterday she confronted me. She asked me "Is there a problem?" in a tone that implied she was unaware of any issues. Which is complete and utter BS given I have had 2 meetings with our superior to discuss these issues, the last being only April 30th! I don't honestly know what to do :(