Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Finding trust a misguided thing

I have barely slept at all. I tossed and turned most of the night. That it was quite warm wasn't helping things, but more importantly, because of the news that my daughters teachers aid was implicated in a story you'd never hope to hear.

At this point in time it's pure here say, but in a town of under 1000 people gossip is usually right to some degree.

While Jessica is not directly affected I still feel so bewildered. I have little choice but to trust those in charge of her care while she is at school, and that's a really really hard thing to do. To add news stories of this calibre to it just blows my mind.

I also wasn't notified by the school that Jessica didn't have an aid yesterday. Something they've been good about in the past and I have bought her home on days where I just felt too unsettled by the idea. Probably an over reaction, agreed, but her aid is her primary carer in the classroom/playground. Not the teacher. Her teacher doesn't even know the child she sits next to threatened to punch her in the face yesterday. I will be going to the office this morning to voice my concerns on both topics.

I'm also a little annoyed that of all the people gossiping about it, who know the close contact this woman has with my daughter, no one told me. It was only when I approached a friend and gave her the pieces I was slowly building the jigsaw with that she told me.

Jessica relies on other people to keep her safe. She's too little to do it all herself right now. How do I trust those people? Do I just blindly give it to them and hope for the best? Let's just say, that's what I had been doing to date and it hasn't always worked out.