So much to do, so little time

Who am I kidding, I don't work anymore so to most of you why should I complain about time? 

The fact remains, I have a "to do" list bigger than my Santa list and it only grows every time I see a wonderful blog, or a new magazine arrives, or I've been op shopping and have a bunch of vintage to drool over. There is so much I want to make, so much I want to achieve. 

Trying to remind myself of something I read on a blog once (was it Ali Edwards?) where she had used a quote that went something like "no body has any more time in the day than I do". Well, that's a really poor representation of the quote, but that was the meaning of it. Each day, we all have 24hrs. What we squish into those hours is entirely up to us. Some of us feel overwhelmed with work, kids, hubby, kids activities etc so much so we never have a hobby or read a book or even get a hair cut. Others amongst us leisurely stroll through life with no goals of time, achieving only what comes before them and happily accepting this life with a smile. Some of us just want to do it all. Now. I think I am one of the latter.. (as if you hadn't worked that out!). The trouble with wanting to be the over-achiever (wow that sounds modest?) is that it usually ends up in achieving nothing as it all gets so overwhelming and it's easier to go watch a dvd. Then the guilt kicks in, you can see where this is going. No where.  

For a long time I have considered making items to sell. Yes, just considered it. I am multi-talented when it comes to crafting which is a real pleasure, but it also means I never focus on one thing for very long. I haven't picked up a tatting shuttle in a long time (ok, so I bought 2 at a garage sale in Perth last time and they had tatting needles too, my first. Does that count?) and my interest in crochet has waned. The last scrapbook page I shared here is still sitting on my desk incomplete and I've got so many sewing patterns I can't remember which ones I like most. 

I think what scares me the most is that moving from hobby to income will kill the pleasure. I know how badly I procrastinated on the 2 bridesmaids and 1 flower girl dress I made in Nov last year for my besties wedding. I know how when I got to her house on the eve of the wedding I hadn't hemmed the 2 bridesmaids dresses. I also know I have no originality. I can mimic things, I can work from patterns, but I don't see ideas in my own mind. Not like I do with crochet anyways. I can crochet up almost anything on a complete whim. Even with crochet I was constantly being encouraged to write patterns and it all just sounded like too much hard work. Perhaps that's what it is, I am just lazy? I want to sew all day long, and yet I haven't been near my sewing machine in months. I like things to be "perfect" (yes, my own image of it, not yours, not his, just mine) and then I spend 6hrs sewing one dolls outfit that should have taken 30mins. I also know there is so little money to be made from homemade items. People do love them, but they seem to expect them to be cheap. I can't afford any lovely fabrics and practically all those I do buy are reduced to $4/m or less. How does anyone make something with those gorgeous quilt fabrics that cost $24/m, then sell them? They have to be losing $$ in a big way! I also don't know what people like. I know what I like, I know what Jessica likes, but beyond that I haven't a clue. 

There is an entrepreneur in town who is opening a monthly market (just like a jumble sale I guess, once a month) but he is also advertising permanent weekend booths. I could do that. I know I could. But how come I can say it then not do it?

McCalls 8784

Above is a pattern I have cut "just because" and maybe with a small inkling of.. will I participate in the market? Even just the jumble sale one? I cut view (D-size 1), the little girl sitting down. The pink floral is a quilting fabric I absolutely adored and I cut the front of the shirt in 1 piece to avoid the center front seams. The little shorts were cut in a dark pink poplin.

Simplicity 9495

I have also cut Jessica a nightie from Simplicity 9495, view C, size 7 (girl holding the teddy bear) in a lightwight cotton. Nighties you buy are usually satin or jersey and with Jessica's skin, neither is comfortable. She loved the fairy fabric (as did I when I bought it!) and "can't wait for you to make it mummy". Yet here is mummy dragging her feet.

Butterick 4286 - McCalls 5439

My last trip to Perth I got a lot of preloved sewing patterns and quite a few were costume. McCalls 5439 is girls size 3,4,5 and Butterick 4286 is misses 6, 8-10, 12-14, 16-18 and I've been using them as a reference for Jessica's 2010 Halloween costume. The owner of many of these patterns must have been a seamstress, all her patterns were cut around the outlines and not specific sizes so I have full use of the size ranges. Yay!

My new issue of Australian Homespun arrived in the post today, already i want to make a few things from it and order back issues (see, this is why they print letters and photos of items people made from past issues!). I'd love to make the girly quilt but I don't have the fabrics or the patience.

My psychologist wants me to enroll in a course at Uni or Tafe, I want him to back off. Maybe I should enroll in drafting, or seamstress or something? *lol* He'd not appreciate that. Apparently I am "too smart to stay here" and he's always asking me "why don't you move? you're wasting yourself by staying here". I keep thinking "shouldn't I be grateful for what I have?". I'm the first to admit I don't feel like I have a lot but when I view it from outside eyes I really do. I have my gorgeous daughter, a loving and supportive local family, I own my home (something I achieved all by myself), I had a good job that I threw in, I have friends, and if I really set my mind to it I also have the ability to make positive changes/influences to my local community. Ugh, life. I just want to pack up and go to the USA for a few weeks. Oh wait, no income. Just got to keep reminding myself to be grateful.