Experimentation and Explosions

This weekend my friend Skye burnt her hand pretty bad while emptying hot oil from the deep fryer at work. I had to babysit her and her kids hesterday *hehe* She was doped up on morpheine and her kids are all under 5, so a bit much for her what with nappies to change and bottles to make etc. I didn't mind. Was a nice excuse to spend the day with her.

Before I went to Skye's I picked up a pair of 4mm knitting needles and some of the 8ply yarn Chantelle RAoK'd me. I didn't know why or what I hoped to achieve, i just wanted to knit. I never before realised alternating rows of knit and purl makes a lovely flat fabric. So I knitted this fabric for a while then started decreasing. I decided to make a little top for Skye's daughter Hayley (8mths). It was waaaaay too small :D But, rather than admit defeat and give it to a doll I grabbed a crochet hook and adapted it. I will admit it looks a lil too much like a bib *hmm*.

So today I decided I best make one for Chloe too! Again using 4mm needles and yarn from Chanti. It was a variegated jewel tone yarn and the pink was not blending how I wanted. I didn't know how to combat this problem as I didn't want the pink to keep bunching up in one corner. I decided to try eyelets as they use less yarn and I thought it would help redistribute things. It did, after like 3 lots of eyelets!! It looks nice, I am happy with it. i crocheted the straps and a little trim across the bottom. I will have to take photos when I get the girls in them. I just hope Chloe's fits! I haven't had her near by to check size and shape.

Meanwhile, Jessica has been in an awful mood tonight! Her asthma has been bad today. When she got home from nannas this evening she was soooo irritable and itchy and grumpy and teary. Gosh it was full on. Her hands had been bandaged for the past 2 days as her eczema was awful and I was trying to prevent infection and such. She is really good about it, doesn't mind at all. I think she feels it's quite a novelty. Chloe decided she wanted a bandage last night too. As Jessi and her mummy had one she wanted to fit in. She was sad Tallis couldn't have one too. She really doesn't like her lil bro to miss out. It's one of the rare times I see sweetness in that child.

I'm still all unsure about that email last week. It hasn't even been a week! A week tomorrow, Monday. Not today. I made a phone call today and that REALLY helped. Amazing how different talking on the phone is. Oh god, I got my first phone bill since I went to a mobile plan too... yeouch *lol*. But it is home phone combined as well so it isn't all bad. Just at the moment with a car about to die completely, phone, power and gas bills pending it's a bit much. Not to mention how Jessi's dad is conveniantly back on the dole so I wont be getting any child support. Financially my life is up the creek at the moment! Nah, I think the whole lot is up the creek. I mean seriously, when you go to the Dr and ball your eyes out knowing he is going to put you back on anti-depressants there has to be a problem. Oh lets not forget the psychologist apt this Wednesday.

I need to take Nichola to Esperance in a couple of weeks to see her specialist and then in a week or two after that I have to take her back to have the baby!! How exciting. Oh, she left a card in my door today. I found it when I woke up. She tells me what a great friend I am and wonderful mum and that she hopes I feel better soon cos she knows I've been down. You know something? It's the first time a friend has ever done that for me. It's usually me who does that for them. It was so lovely.

Mum called tonight to ask who was killed in a car accident here over night. It was on the news, but no names mentioned. I hear from gossip that it was a 'P' Plater, and non local. Whoever it was, RIP. Jessi misses mum heaps. When mum was on the phone Jess asked if she was coming home tonight :( Between mum and Darren (Jessi's dad) leaving, Jess has taken it hard. She was talking this evening about school and she was all funny. I mean, she wasn't in the best mood as I have already mentioned, but this wasn't good. She said she didn't want to go to school as she doesn't want to leave me all alone... I don't know why this is suddenly an issue. She said she will miss me but she says that a lot, and I reinforced that I will be there at the end of the day to get her and we will be together again. Then she said "I don't want to do anything without my mummy". It was really very sweet but it is also very concerning. I don't know what to do. I hope she goes to school ok in the morning as I am not sure how I will handle it if she doesn't. Please let this phase pass soon.. I promise her all the time I will never leave her, but what if the unthinkable happens? What if I die? Will she forever hate me for breaking that promise??? I love her so so so much *tears*

I think seeing this psych is probably a good thing, my head is about to explode!