To be honest, I don't even know WHY it happens. Overwhelmed, under-whelmed.. who knows. Sometimes I think it all just gets too much reading about the perfect lives of perfect people in the blogesphere. Techinicaly we all know each other isn't perfect but who am I kidding?! Some of these mums with their baking and sewing and happy kids and magazine perfect photos.. they make me sick. It's nice for a while to read their blissful words and their pics really aren't to be complained about as they're so wonderfully composed. But when you're struggling to make ends meet, keep the child alive and drudge through each and every dreary day just to start the next one it's not always so blissful. More like a huge kick in the face.
Jessica's health has been reasonably good this year. Her eczema is looking far better than ever (in her whole life - ever!). She still has to travel to Perth frequently to see doctors and monitor her medications and progress. Anaphylaxis hasn't been an issue but minor allergic reactions and hayfever etc have all been pretty uncomfortble. As I write this in my sleep deprived state I am reminded how disruptive her asthma has been the last few days. Neither of us have had much sleep while she coughs her lil lungs up all night long. She's feeling pretty run down and having more time off school. To top it off, at her last check up in Perth her doctors are concerned she hasn't gained any weight in over 6mths. Will be interesting to see what this means for us on our visit in July.
I started a new job! Way back in January.. I love it :) Suits me really well. I am kept active enough both physically and mentally, working with people and given a huge chunk of responsibility. I am working in an Australia Post Licensed Post Office and from the moment I was hired (head hunted!!) I was told it would be semi managerial. I say semi as in a small, privately owned business there is no need for a "manager" per say, except when the owner is away. This is what she intended. For me to run the show so she CAN go away. I wasn't looking for work. I was still trying to overcome the inadequacies and apprehensions my last job created for me on a personal level. When I was asked to take this position I baulked, but told her I'd give it a go. Never expected to LOVE IT and not complaining that I do :) It's been good in many ways. It got me out of my reverie, has me socialising even if it is only at a seeing people at work level and reinstating some long lost confidence. I've learned so much. The business has been on the market for a number of years and now my mum has put in an offer and really hopes to be the successful purchaser. Finance permitting. This will be a whole other can of worms that I will leave closed until it bursts open.
I have been creating. Nothing fancy. A toy here, a piece of clothing there. Some hand sewing, embroidery, wood working.. Baby steps. I always have these big plans and get so annoyed at myself when they don't come to fruition.
Here's some recent items
I hand pleated some fabric to attempt smocking.. but I don't know how to smock haha
Baby dress for my 7mth old cousin - pattern from Ottobre
A top/tunic for Jessica - pattern McCall's
Library bags I made Jessi and our 2 cousins for school this year
Jessi's 8th birthday cake. Could have been better if the 45C heat wasn't melting it!!
Dummy (pacifier) chain, heandband and baby shoes for my 3mth old cousin
Still working on finding peace with myself, my actions, my words and my feelings. Fingers crossed I get there one day soon as I feel like life is flying by and I am only a spectator, but also feel like I am completely unable to change it.
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