Gotta Love It

'Gotta love it' - the sarcastic name of the photo album on my Facebook page containing all the photos of Jessica's allergies, hospital stays etc. Well, not quite all, MRSA got two albums all of its own! There is one other too, 'The Not So Pretty'. I was only prompted to share those kinds of photos with my Facebook friends when a dear friend from Anaphalaxis Talk was having MRSA trouble with her own child.

Is it wrong to tell you how fed up I am with our lot in life? Of course. You're supposed to be all smiley and when someone asks how you are the polite answer is "well thanks, and you?". If you told them you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and the kid is sick and you just want to go to bed and never get out they'd probably have you committed!

I feel like that a lot. Completely overwhelmed and unimpressed with everything. Sometimes I have to remind myself that something that just happened was good, be happy, be grateful. I had a long phone call with my sister yesterday which put me in a real funk and I couldn't even concentrate on a DVD last night. She's getting married in 2011 and was asking me if I could replicate some invites she'd seen. Well, I haven't seen them so who knows? (I'm actually thinking the "gift card holder" my Cricut can make, pictured with a tulip printed paper a few posts ago would be nice, but in her colour scheme of course.), she actually asked me to do the bridesmaids and flower girls hair (you guessed it, I am not a bridesmaid!). Hair. Me? No. Spend close-knit-lovey-dovey time with her friends? Hell no! She went on to say they're going to try borrow some $18,000 to pay for this whole affair. Really? That's more than my annual income. Yet they're only going to have 40 or so guests? What the hell do they need $18,000 for??? Ok, so when she found a dress in a Salvation Army store she just loved her fiancé told her she had to spend $2,500 minimum on her dress or "not to bother". Say WHAT? These two live well beyond their means at the best of times. I think I've heard all I want to about this wedding, and right at this moment I am glad it's not until the end of 2011 because I feel so.. ? I'm not sure. Hurt. Jealous. Angry (try explaining 'proof book' to my sister, you will understand the frustration.).

Then this afternoon my baby comes home sick (from nanna's house). Again. She's all teary and miserable because she has conjunctivitis (pink eye to my American friends) as well as hay fever. It got me to thinking about all the things she's had to deal with in her short life. She isn't yet 8, after all. I also began to acknowledge how little I document of her ordeals. I have photos gallore, but I really need to talk more about it all, and the struggles that go along with. I am not the only mum out there with a 'sickly' child. I am fed-the-hell-up of having people think I am over reactive and that "at least she doesn't have Downs [Syndrome]". Right.. like the trials I have with Jessica mean nothing because you can't physically see all the suffering she endures? She is set to miss another 3 days of school with this conjunctivitis, likely bought on by her hay fever. Too much crap in her eyes over too long. I tell the nurse on arrival at the Emergency that she has latex allergy. When she went to inspect the eye she went to put on gloves and I had to ask "are they latex free?". Nope.

I have nearly lost my daughter to death, twice. By that age of 7! Don't be telling me I have nothing to be so fussy about. One was to MRSA, the 2nd to an anaphylaxis allergic reaction to chocolate. Thank goodness for the Epipen and a paediatrician who believed there really was something wrong.

During pregnancy I had placenta previa and had all kinds of warnings like not to chop firewood, hang laundry, lift anything heavy. I also had 22.5weeks of all day every day sickness (who named it morning sickness?!). When my waters broke they were almost fluro green. After she was born and they stitched me up they had to take me back in and drain my bladder to control the bleeding.

My mum left the hospital the morning after she was born because of Jessi's dad's abusive and controlling behaviour. My mum wouldn't even look at me, or say goodbye to Jess. We left the hospital on day 2, even though I could barely stand up I was so dizzy all the time all because he wanted to. The doctor put the worst fear in me that she might get jaundice if we left so soon. I walked around for 2 days seeing my baby as bright yellow!

My daughter is fully immunised.

About 2 weeks old she got conjunctivitis.

7 weeks, my 21st birthday

At roughly 3mths old the eczema began. It was on her cheeks and was so nasty. I, no word of a lie, had a complete stranger ask me outside the supermarket if I poured boiling water on her? I have so few photos of her as a baby. Subconsciously I couldn't see past the eczema and it resulted in not so many photos. People kept telling me eczema was stress related. Didn't I feel grand!

Roughly 6mths

 

7 or eight months

A 'well meaning' child health nurse suggested we relax on solids to help her eczema. She started having a lot of rice cereal and I had problems feeding her from then on.

She stopped breast feeding around 6mths old, by choice. I guess the stress really did get to her then. Also saw a dermatologist who visited the country in regards to eczema. Walked into his office and he asked what he could do for us. We said "we believe our daughter has eczema.." and his response almost floored me. "what do you want me to do about it?" he asked. Wow. He spent so much time trying to take photos of her cheeks for his website that all he did was write a prescription for steroid cream. Same as our family dr.

Roughly 6mths

About 26mths of age they finally diagnosed asthma. Treated asthma and the vomiting eased.

At some point along the way she had an admission to Kalgoorlie hospital for "investigation". They did a barium swallow and an ultra sound to see that all was ok and working properly in the swallowing and vomiting processes. They ushered us out of there pretty quick because they were busy with flu season.

She'd often vomit massive amounts, until her stomach was empty and she'd still be retching. Sometimes it was like power-chuck! I'd call nanna crying because I needed a shower, Jess needed a bath. There'd be spew everywhere. I saw our family doctor so many times. They said she had reflux and prescribed medication to suit. I never, ever gave it to her. I didn't think that was the cause at all. I also kept telling the dr about this vomiting and she'd just listen and say it was normal for babies to spew. I'd babysat since I was 12, I knew babies. This wasn't normal. About 10mths down the track she weighed her and realised she'd be losing ground in her growth charts, actually going backward! We were rushed off to PMH. Jessica was diagnosed as having 'Failure to thrive'. BEST mother moment. EVER. Not. She was started on supplementary milk drinks and polyjoule. They listened to the vomiting issues and gave her the very first lot of RAST tests for allergies. She was positive to egg and potato, tree nuts among environmentals. I queried sesame which they had no result for. Was told to remove egg and potato from her diet to see how her eczema went.

About 26mths of age the finally diagnosed asthma. Treated asthma and the vomiting eased. She had chronic constipation until about 4yrs old and took daily laxatives. It was painful to watch and no one seemed to care. Just take the laxatives.

I don't recall how many admissions she had to PMH in those first few years. It was at least 4. No one ever said anything much about her skin, they queried asthma a couple of times. They were focused on trying to get her to eat. They did start us on wet wraps for eczema. That was grueling and she hated it. I had to walk the halls with her in a stroller the whole time she was in one.

Early age 5 they diagnosed latex allergy via skin prick testing after she had a massive lip swelling reaction to a balloon at age 4. I had to push our family doctor before he finally referred us to an Allergist who reconfirmed tree nut allergy and confirmed sesame for the first time. Latex, tree nut and sesame are all anaphylaxis/life threatening allergies. We already knew about egg and potato, and environmental things like grass, animals, dust. She petted a friend's dog once and her entire face swelled like a balloon. Her eyes swelling completely closed. Treated allergies and the vomiting made a whole lot more sense! .

Age 5 was the MRSA. I had to buy her a stroller because her skin was so bad she could barely walk. I kept telling or family dr something wasn't right, this isn't her normal eczema. He didn't believe me.

Then she got burnt with her antibacterial bath oil. It was so horrible!!!!!!!

Finally got MRSA diagnosed, 2 weeks in Perth at PMH. Back for an 8 week check up and readmitted. Started huge doses of oral antibiotics, which lasted some years. Every time we stopped she break out in infection again. MRSA saw us make contact with our dermatologist, who we now see regularly. This dermatologist started her on immunosuppression therapy, using the drug Cyclosporin, to help control her eczema. Immunosuppression is used for people who are having transplants so their body is less likely to reject the new organ. Has some wicked side effects like kidney failure. Spent weeks super stressed and badly worried every time she had a cough or snotty nose. All I could think was pneumonia.

Cyclosporin didn't work too well so they switched to Azathiprine (Imuran) and she's doing much better. It has other side effects, like the warts on her hands and face, the ring worm. The fact she missed a month of grade 1 when whooping cough was going around and she was too susceptible with a weakened immune system to be near people who had it/contact with it. Her immunisation had to cease as live cultures are used and injecting something live into her with a weakened immune was more likely to give her the disease than prevent it. She isn't allowed to get sunburnt because the drugs can cause her to be more likely to develop melanoma.

She's been under general anesthetic twice. First for an endoscopy and the second for dental surgery. Our school dentist wouldn't touch her in case he had latex in his van (they visit in a kitted out caravan, school is too small for on site dentist). He diagnosed her and she was sent away for crowns, fillings and removals. All on baby teeth. She was six.

I can't count the number of hospitalisations she's had for asthma and eczema. We see our dermatologists in Perth every 8 weeks. It's some 16hr return trip. She's currently taking 4 tablets, 2 inhalers, 1 nasal spray, various creams daily, and you can often add antihistamine to that list. She has bleach baths twice a week and a bloody test once a month. Her clothes can only be washed in 1 brand of laundry powder. She still can't interact with most animals. Her linen needs washing a lot. All our linen has blood stains. She is still extremely uncomfortable in some kinds of clothing. She is still prone to infection. She is limited by shoes, clothes, toys and various other things due to latex allergy. She can't even wear a bandaid. She has a lot of broken sleep. She often gets a fat lip just from eating white bread. Cross contamination of sesame seed. She's seen doctors, pediatricians, ENTs, dietitians, dermatologists, allergists, immunologists, pediatric dentists, psychologists. She still hardly eats. She's spent far too much time resembling a mummy (of the bandaged variety). She puts bandages on all her dolls. Her hospital files at PMH and our local hospital is over 2inches thick. She sits on a 'sitting mat' at school to keep her off the carpet/grass. She has a teachers aid. She is still missing massive amounts of school, and starting to really notice how 'different' she is.
She cries "I don't want to do this anymore".
"The only thing I am good at is itching".
"I wish I didn't have allergies".
"How come other people don't have eczema?". (remembering we live in a really small town)
"It's all my fault. Everything is my fault".

I want a little girl who could live pain free. Who can pet a dog and eat whatever she wants. Who can grow into a young lady without fear of condoms, shampoo, make up. I want my daughter to be 'normal', and it's selfish of me. She is who she is and I can't change it. Oh how I know I can't change it. I'd have a thousand times over if I could. Besides all the regular childhood illness like colds n flus, chicken pox. I don't think it's fair any child should need so many needles poked into them. I've had to hold Jessi down for blood tests. Once, with 2 nurses and myself holding her down the doctor was still unable to draw any blood. She was only 3!

You tell me if you think it's fair for ANY child to suffer. You tell me if you still think my concern for my daughter is all in my head? You still don't know the half of it. Go on, tell me "it will all get better" just one. more. time. I dare you.

You tell me if this looks like anything you've seen a child endure (but of course you haven't, because they're at home or in hospital when this bad, so you think eczema, asthma and allergies are a piece of cake!)....

       

 

              

 

I lost all the photos I had saved on a thumbdrive, there were hundreds more like these, including those of her struggling to breath with oxygen masks on.

Yes, I realise my tone throughout this past was angry. It makes me angry that my little girl has to endure all this. That I can't help her. That people are so heartless about it.

Spring is in the air for sure

Spring is in the air alright, because it's up our noses and in our eyes. Darn hayfever! I've been feeling a bit snuffly the last few days and as irritating as that's been, my lil poppet has the worse end of the deal. We went for a walk this morning, all was good. Not long after we got home she started whining, and rightly so..

Her eye was very puffy, red, itchy and all round annoying. Leaking it's stickyness all down her cheeks. I gave her some antihistamine and hoped it kicked in quick. it didn't and the eye is still slightly enlarged. Poor kid. But today she's also walked into a table and bumped her tummy, got a paper cut on her thumb and had a headache. Wow. Talk about melodrama. School resumes next week and if this is what she looks like today I can only imagine the panicked phone calls I will be getting as of

next week. Not to mention how hard it is for Jess to concentrate when all she wants to do is rub at her eyes and she can hardly see out of them because they're so gummy and feel like they are made of sandpaper. How the child manages to learn anything at all the entire school year is beyond me! She's such a little trooper, and grumble as she may she still gives it her all. You can make out the small hives under the eye too.

We had a big argument the other day (yes Jessica and I) about her attire. She had on stockings/tights and a t-shirt and I told her we were going for a walk to the shop and tights are underclothes, please put a dress over them or swap them for some pants/shorts/skirt. Basically, anything but what she was wearing. She huffed and puffed and rolled her eyes and I was starting to get quite annoyed as she'd been in one of those "ugh!" moods all week. So I yelled. And I told her "if you can't dress yourself, I will dress you!". Well, didn't that go down well :-/ I chose her a dress and she begrudgingly went and put it on and left the tights underneath. When she emerged I told her the tights had to go. More huffing and groaning and the tears were stinging her eyes but she fought them off well. I then had to brush the rats-nest that was her hair. I had bought her some lovely flower clips and a sequined headband at Cotton On Kids our last trip to Perth which she had refused to wear, so keeping with the "ok, I'll dress you" theme I decided it was about time she did. I braided a section of the front before wrapping the tail of the plait into a bun and securing with bobby pins, and sat the flower up by the bun. Then for her comfort, I neatly brushed back the remaining hair into another bun. When the heat makes you itchy the last thing you want is hair hanging down creating heat.

She cried, she yelled and she sooked something cruel about the whole process, but she looked great! When we got to the shops many people told her how lovely she looked and she was in such a foul mood she barely grunted at them. That was my patience done for! I really can't tolerate her being so blatantly rude! Needless to say we had a big discussion when we got home about how talking to people like that makes them feel bad, and it only makes you feel bad, how she needs to watch her attitude and a myriad of other things that had been bugging me that whole week (like how she sulks when she's asked to be careful with Tian and other ridiculous things). We've had a better couple of days since and when I mentioned we were going for a walk to the shop this morning, she did her best to describe what I did to her hair the other day and asked me to put it up the same today (I plaited the big bun before coiling this morning). SCORE! Sometimes I have to enforce my mother's law only for her to realise she likes it. Like denim, she flat refuses to wear it. I forced encouraged her to wear a denim pinafore while in Perth and whaddya know, she decided she likes it. She can have her independence when she's like, I dunno, a mother or something. For a little while yet she is still my little girl and I will ask her to do things my way. Like it or not. (you can still see that puffy eye)

Jessica has decided riding her bike is awful, and all but refuses to ride it. Not impressed. The last couple of mornings she's wanted to take her doll Lucy for a walk, I don't mind a bit. Until we have to stop because Lucy needs something, or Jess is cranky because the sheet is flying away in the wind (the sheet is one of Jessica's old bassinet sheets, a number of her old things were delegated to the dolls). This pram (stroller, pushchair etc) is fantastic, we bought it for her a few Christmas's ago. The handle is high, it's a good solid pram, has a basket under it and even seats for two dollies! She tried walking with the el-cheapo plastic stroller the other day and it's so low she had to walk all hunched and crouched. It looked awkward, and painful! I don't know why she still insists on using the small one. I think Lucy enjoyed tis morning's walk. I sure did.

Just for fun, a photo of Jessica showing me just one of her many (many!) tricks. She, of course, think's she's extremely clever. Thank goodness she's only fallen the once. Not like that was fun when she ended up in hospital in a makeshift neck cuff. Our swingset is used more for hanging than swinging and we have a big, dome shaped climbing frame in the backyard too. Jessi hangs from it by one hand and spins. I just cringe! I don't think human bodies are designed to do what she does. It's like she turns herself inside out somethings. The kid needs a gymnastics class to focus her energy. No chance in this town. (see all those ugly dead weeds where once there was lawn? oh what to do)

Allergy is no joke!

I tend not to get caught up in the hype that is constantly aflutter surrounding food allergies. I will openly talk to anyone who broaches the topic as it is a HUGE part of my life, as my 7yr old daughter suffers Anaphylaxis.


Jessica is anaphylactic to treenuts, sesame and latex.


She is reactive to egg, potato, peanut, banana, dust, mould, animal dander, rodents, grass, pollen, and a myriad of other things. She also has severe eczema (currently 90% controlled with immunossupression therapy) and asthma. All of which interact.


Now, allergy, anaphylaxis, intolerance are definitely "buzz" words at the moment. I'm not so sure many people really understand the difference between an intolerance and anaphylaxis. Hell, Blogger is even flagging Anaphylaxis and Anaphylactic as spelling errors, so clearly not even in their dictionary!


Anaphylxis Australia describes Anaphylaxis to mean..
(source http://www.allergyfacts.org.au/whatis.html)
Anaphylaxis is the most severe form of allergic reaction and is potentially life threatening. It must be treated as a medical emergency, requiring immediate treatment and urgent medical attention.
Anaphylaxis is a generalised allergic reaction, which often involves more than one body system (e.g. skin, respiratory, gastro-intestinal, cardiovascular). A severe allergic reaction usually occurs within 20 minutes of exposure to the trigger and can rapidly become life threatening.


This is what we, the parents (and the sufferers) fail to get people to understand. 

ANAPHYLAXIS IS LIFE THREATENING

Having a child who suffers anaphylaxis is terrifying! Here I was worried about school yard bullying, and yet the problem is SOO much bigger. In the last week, an Australian network (Channel 9) allowed a comedian onto their popular TV show entitled "The Footy Show". I am choosing not to name the comedian, link his website nor the YouTube video of his performance on the Footy Show as it will only increase his profile! So anyways, this "comedian" (trust me, I use the term lightly) decided to mock children with food allergies.

What the hell was Channel 9 thinking???

They would never have allowed a comedian on air mocking children with Cancer or other terminal illness, which in many ways, Anaphylaxis is. I was alerted to this controversial topic through my Anaphylaxis Talk forum friends as a group had been formed on Facebook. There are many furious people.

I read on the Facebook page today that The Footy Show is "considering airing an apology" on their next show. TOO LATE! 

You've just let the entire country think that food allergy is something comical, a joke, something not to take seriously! 

I have been thinking about this topic over and over for 3 days now. At first I did not join the group, though I did watch the YouTube video of the comedian's performance, I went to his website and saw he is so unoriginal that it wasn't a new skit, but something he has been using for some time. How un-funny does a person have to be to mock ill children?!?! He claimed in his skit to be a father of a 13yr old, who knows if this is true, but if it is he has clearly been blessed with healthy children. Something not all of us are so fortunate to receive.

Anaphylaxis sufferers (it annoys me when people say "food allergy sufferers" because bee stings, medicine, latex.. so many non-food items can cause the exact same responses) in Australia struggle to be recognized as having a serious medical condition. The must carry Epinephren Auto Injectors (commonly known by the brand name EpiPen) with them everywhere just in case of a reaction. To school, to lunch at the cafe, to the park and the pool. Everywhere! An autoinjector is filled with adrenalin and injected (yes, as in needle) into a persons thigh in times of severe reaction. Do you know the signs of Anaphylaxis?

From Anaphylaxis Australia

(source http://www.allergyfacts.org.au/whatis.html)

Mild to moderate allergic reaction
• Tingling of the mouth
• Hives, welts or body redness
• Swelling of the face, lips, eyes
• Vomiting, abdominal pain
Severe allergic reaction- ANAPHYLAXIS
• Difficulty and/or noisy breathing
• Swelling of the tongue
• Swelling or tightness in the throat
• Difficulty talking or hoarse voice
• Wheeze or persistent cough
• Loss of consciousness and/or collapse
• Pale and floppy (young children)

My daughter Jessica suffered an anaphylactic reaction in November last year and it was terrifying! She wears a MedicAlert bracelet always. She doesn't take it off to sleep, shower, swim.. I replace it as she grows or things change, I always include my phone number. My biggest fear is losing her. All parents could lose their children, but I know the risks are so much higher with Jessi due to the speed at which Anaphylaxis can kill. 


Did you know that the airways close, they swell shut? If a person goes without oxygen for 3 minutes they can suffer severe, irreversible brain damage. My daughter could die within minutes of ingestion or contact with one of her allergens. DIE. DEAD. Gone forever. Yes, it really IS that serious. Why is it people still think food allergy is a joke? Just people being bothersome?

In Bunbury hospital after suffering Anaphylaxis
in Nov 2009

I will never know for certain that being without the EpiPen that day would have been the difference between life and death. I will always remember the fear I felt at knowing how violently ill she was, vomiting all through the car, crying, complaining of an itchy throat, hacking coughs, face so blotchy, red and swollen, getting weak and my own anxiety at knowing I would have to jam that damn needle into her tiny little leg and wait. Just wait and see what happened. Calling 000, trying to direct an ambulance to our location in a town I didn't know. Hearing the ambulance drive by us, cos let's face it, my directions stank! Having to let my baby girl get in that ambulance on her own so I could follow in my own car. That was THE hardest thing I have ever had to do as a parent.  I'm crying now as I write this, reliving those feelings. At the hospital they went straight into panic mode. An EpiPen is a temporary solution. Time enough to find help. Said to last about 20mins. At the hospital she was in Emergency right by the nurses station, I had to explain the whole latex allergy in a mad hurry so they could treat her. The put an IV into her arm and drew up adrenalin into a needle and it sat on a trolley RIGHT beside her. Just waiting for that moment it all started over again. Thank goodness it didn't. We had to stay at the hospital, in emergency with that needle full of adrenalin taunting me for over 4hrs. They had to wait for her facial swelling to subside, for her to be able to eat, and to be absolutely certain she wouldn't re-react. 

Jessica's IV after Anaphylaxis

As scary as that entire ordeal was, I will also never forget how quickly the EpiPen worked. I was on the phone to 000 when I administered it. Jessi was SCREAMING "mummy no!" over and over and over, my own resolve was gone and I was crying and telling the 000 operator I didn't want to do it. She reassured me she would talk me through it, and I recall feeling like an idiot because I knew my daughter needed the help and I have been trained and know exactly what to do. But oh the feelings you experience when you're actually faced with it! That EpiPen.. my oh my! Within 30seconds she was looking better, the redness and most of the swelling simply vanished and she was still crying but not looking so sick. When the ambulance arrived she was doing ok. She was 6 years old.


The guilt still sits deep within me, knowing I gave her 2 squares of a chocolate that I didn't realize contained hazelnuts. Just 4% hazelnuts (as stated on the pack) and only 2 squares, and that's what my daughters body did to her. That's what I did to her.


Jessica will never play with a basketball, never enjoy the freedoms of eating out and eating anything on the menu. As she gets older boys will be a huge issue for her as she can't just kiss some random guy, what if he's just eaten nuts? Not to mention the latex allergy causing issues for contraception and womens toiletries. 


80% of kids with egg allergy "outgrow" their allergy, just 20% of kids with nut allergies will outgrow their allergy. That is a huge, HUGE 80% who don't. And sadly, latex allergy will never go away and will only increase in seriousness with more contact. Sesame is on the Australian list of top 10 food allergens, but not the American. It's interesting how those top 10 lists differ in other parts of the world.


I wish Anaphylaxis would get more coverage, more understanding. By telling your child they should "wipe peanut butter along the corridors" may seem harmless and funny to you, but how about I tell my daughter to walk those same corridors carrying a gun? Yes, your harmless peanut butter is like a loaded gun to children with food allergies. It, like the gun, will kill. You have the comfort of knowing your child will safely eat that peanut butter, or clean it away and laugh at it's sticky, gooey texture while the anaphylactic child is huddling in a corner from fear.

Overload

I will have to get in the habit of blogging more regularly, then I wont feel so overwhelmed when I do decide to blog. Maybe I should set photos to upload before I go to work so when I come home all I have to do is write!

My little teaser the other day is the most adorable cross over baby jacket. I think the back is too big, the pattern piece was missing so I traced the front, but I get the impression it should have been narrower. The jacket pattern actually used bias right the way around the neck and sleeves, but I don't like bias much. Plus I had a completely un-used roll of the most perfect coloured ribbon! Scored it in a bulk eBay lot of lace. So, avoiding bias, I made my jacket reversible. I sewed the two wrong side together leaving an opening in the back to turn it out. Sorry my pics are crap, it was late! (**see note)   The jacket pattern is Simplicity 9647 size Newborn Babies dated 1980. Will upload a pic next time I am using the camera. Thank you to my friend Toni of ChickChat for gifting me the pattern (and many more! PS. go check out her scrapbookin!).

(**note) As there was no picture people reluctantly bid and as the seller said it was a plastic grocery bag full I figured "who cares?!". Turned out to some some seriously vintage, as well as fun, laces and ribbons. Many of which there were metres and metres of, and I think I paid $6 something for the auction and maybe $6 postage.

My Amazon.com order arrived Friday last week. I bought 2 "self help" books and Carefree Clothes for Girls. Now, I was going to shop "local" on the so called "Australian Amazon" at fishpond.com.au but for Carefree Clothes for Girls alone they wanted $49.99AUD!! Ouch! Now, the photograph of the invoice to the left is in USD but I can confirm at the time of purchase my total invoice was $63.23AUD! The books totalled $40.36 Aussie dollars and the remainding twenty-two or so was postage. Hmm.. Where would you have shopped as a single mum on a shoe-string budget?

I've been meaning to sew Jessica some winter pyjama (pajama, pj's) out of flannelette. I was horrified when trying to find some online that it was all $24 per metre!! Ok, so Anna Maria Horner and co, your fabrics are gorgeous.. but well an truly out of my budget. Oh how I'd love some Amy Butler, Heather Bailey, Cath Kidston, etc  :(  I love to browse online but it gets a lil depressing after a while. So anyways, can't afford online flannel and live no where near a shop. So looks like I will be either buying jammies for the kiddo or they will have to wait for our next trip to Perth where I can go in store at Spotlight and buy some boring old unprinted flannel for $3.99/m. I might even splurge on a knit to make them more comfy (lacking warmth though).

How you know your kiddo is unwell...

It's 4pm and she is sound asleep in the back yard and not climbing or hanging from that yellow and red contraption she loves so dearly (it's a dome shaped climbing frame).

Unfortunatly when we disturbed her we found she'd had an allergic reaction to who knows what! These reactions are becoming more and more frequent and she's starting to get really frustrated and upset with her lot in life. Just yesterday she was eating BBQ Shapes and both top and bottom lip were ever so slightly swollen. Enough so she'd scratched it terribly and made her lip bleed. After she had some antihistamines and it had all settled back down her lips were all peeling and cracked. Not pretty :( She was really annoyed too as she LOVES Shapes! I tend not to discuss Jessica's allergies here too much as it's such a big part of our real world that neither of us enjoy. I do sometimes wonder if I should be doing more advocacy. While she is anaphylactic (could suffer anaphylaxis) to tree nuts, sesame and latex, her allergies are much more involved. She reacts to a lot more, and her skin prick tests even say she should avoid peanuts, orange, banana and others. We have a great team of Allergists at Princess Margaret Hospital for Children who believe removing foods from her diet which don't cause her any major dramas is more dangerous to her ongoing health. Her diet actually HAS to include banana and peanuts at least twice a week. Jessica also reacts to dust, almost every animal, scented things (like scented tissues and toilet paper). Sometimes it feels like "you name it, she'll react to it". But we also don't put her in a bubble. As a child's most susceptible years are from the ages of 10-25 when they are more independent, ascerting their rights as individuals, prone to peer pressure etc I teach Jessica now that yes your lip is itchy and horrible, but go take some antihistamines and you'll feel better. Or in the case of it reacting in the form of her eczema we apply the creams or run a cool bath. It's important to me that I teach her how to care for her own needs as best I can. I can't and wont always be there for her (as much as that pains me). We have our epipens, and she takes a "medicine" bag with her wherever she goes. I must admit, it's far easier to avoid food and read labels than it is dealing with the latex allergy.