My first scrapbook page in I couldn't tell you how long. Since well before christmas! I am not overly impressed with it. I don't know why I don't like it or what I think it needs. But I wont do any more to it, I know I will fully destroy it. I am always trying to remind myself that as much as scrapping is a creative outlet for me, it really is about the story I tell for those to come after me. So.. the story is told so leave alone! *lol* Round seems to be very "in" within my scrapping mags so I gave it ago. Been there, done that and am over it already *lol* It's a nice photo of Jessi and it's very hard for me to scrap those non-gorgeous full frontal photos. So this in itself was an achievement! The photo is Jessi playing in a cubbyhouse at playgroup, dressed as a fairy for a little friends birthday party. My Feral Fairy!My second page in as many days. I am much happier with this one. I knew what I had in mind right from the onset. So imagine my disgust when I misplaced the letter S stamp!!!! I sat for hours on and off trying to work out what to do bt not getting anywhere as I had planned to do it just like this! Last night I was looking at some papers that came free with a mag and voila! There was the cheeky lil letter S. This is my first effort with foam stamps, acrylic paint, ink and dry brush painting. I am pleased with how it all came together. The second photo being included was a last minute.. "hmm it needs something". The tulle through the ribbon letters spelling ballerina is interesting. I had no ribbon the right colours and didn't know how I was going to attach them to the page. I stumbled across some white tulle and it really fit with how the white acrylic paint was somewhat translucent and the tulle has that effect with it not being a "full" fabric. I like it. The tulle fits the whole ballerina thing to! That only just hit me *lol* Yeah.. I'm a dope :P This photo was taken the day we bought Jessi her very sweet little tutu for $15 at Gosnells Railway Markets in Perth. We drove to my great-uncle's to see my great-grandfather and Jessi wanted it on "now!" *lol*. This was July 06. Needless to say that tutu is nearly worn out now! She has even worn it in winter with stockings underneath.
On the personal front everything is crap. My car wont even start now. I need my car. How am I supposed to get Jess to school when it is raining? We don't have buses or taxi's or even a school bus. Jessica has been on antibiotics as she had a REALLY nasty infection on her hand. This was 2 weeks ago but it seems overnight her hand is infected again :( Our dr called to get authorisation for Jessi's Singulair asthma preventer tablet during the week and was deined as she uses a Flixotide puffer as well and apparently you aren't allowed to use both. Yet she has used both ever since she was diagnosed! She had 4 asthma attacks on Thurs night and yet some idiot on the end of the phone feels they have the right to tell us "no, she can't have that medication" cos some bigger idiot who likely has their own gvt office somewhere has decided that you should be able to keep asthma under control with just one preventer. Dr said to go back next week and when they ask if she is using an inhaler too he will tell them no. Well.. we shall see.
I've been pretty miserable. Spent hours on the phone to nanna just crying last night. I know I am not well and I am doing what I can about that. But our finances wont fix themselves and my daughter wont just become healthy. Nor will someone decide to love me. So.. very little will change no matter what happens. At the end of the day when Jessi is in bed and I am allowed to be "Michelle" and not "Jessi's mum" I would love to have someone to talk to, someone to hold and hold me, someone to help so I don't have to get up to my 4yr old 4 times a night! Until I get myself sorted out I know I don't deserve to have that, but that is what I want. I am fed up with all the promises I hear and no one but me ever makes the effort. I don't want to force someone to love me. Why can't I be loved for who I am?